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How to help a child who stutters at home

Stuttering Therapy Clinician: Dr Lauren Crumlish (PhD) 8 min read

A mother and father sit at home on either side of their young daughter, who is smiling with her hands raised above her head.

To help a child who stutters, the most useful thing you can do is wait, listen to what they are telling you and let them finish in their own time, without asking them to slow down or take a breath. Those habits make talking easier at home, but they are support and not treatment, so the other half of helping is having your child seen by a speech pathologist.

This guide gives you words for the moments parents find hardest: a word that will not come out, a brother or sister who copies, a relative who means well. It also explains where support at home ends and stuttering treatment begins.

What should I do when my child gets stuck on a word?

Wait. Keep looking at your child the way you normally would, let the word come, then answer what they said. The Sydney Children’s Hospitals Network advises parents to give a child who stutters time to speak without interrupting or finishing their sentences, and to listen to the message, not to how it is said.

Most of the time you say nothing about the stutter at all. If your child looks frustrated, or mentions it, say something short and true. The Northern Sydney Local Health District’s guide for parents suggests acknowledging that words get stuck and reminding your child that they often speak very well. For example:

“That word got stuck, didn’t it? That happens sometimes. I’m listening.”

“Some words are hard to get out. You tell me lots of things really well.”

Then carry on with the conversation, so the moment stays small.

What helps a child who stutters, what does not, and why?

Each of these swaps comes from Australian health advice for parents of children who stutter. The reason matters as much as the rule, because it is what you will pass on to everyone else who talks with your child.

Do this Instead of this Why
Wait until your child has finished Finishing the word or sentence for them A child who stutters needs time to speak without being interrupted, and stuttering can get worse when a person feels rushed (Sydney Children’s Hospitals Network; Healthdirect)
Say “I’m listening”, or say nothing “Slow down”, “take a breath” or “start again” Comments like these can make a child more self-conscious. Your child is not stuttering on purpose (Sydney Children’s Hospitals Network)
Answer what your child said Remarking on how they said it The advice to parents before an assessment is not to comment on the stuttering (Northern Sydney Local Health District)
Talk the way you usually talk Putting on a slow, careful voice The hospital advice is to keep your own speech natural. The way parents talk to their children does not cause stuttering (Australian Stuttering Research Centre)
Give your attention when your child has something to say Listening over the television or a phone Fewer distractions make it easier for your child to get the message out (Sydney Children’s Hospitals Network)
Step in when someone corrects or teases Letting a “helpful” comment pass Parents are advised to protect a child who stutters from other people commenting on their speech or trying to fix it (Sydney Children’s Hospitals Network)
Arrange an assessment with a speech pathologist Waiting to see whether it passes Nobody can tell which children will stop stuttering without therapy (Australian Stuttering Research Centre), and stuttering can be harder to treat as children get older (Sydney Children’s Hospitals Network)

Some overseas guides tell parents to slow their own speech right down. The Australian hospital advice is the opposite: keep talking the way you normally do. Your child’s stuttering did not come from the way you speak, and changing your voice is not what treats it.

What do I say when a brother or sister teases?

Stop it calmly on the spot, then explain in private. The hospital advice is that a child should never be teased about a stutter, and a brother or sister usually needs the reason as well as the rule. You could say:

“Your sister’s words get stuck sometimes. She is not doing it on purpose and she can’t just stop. Copying her is not okay. In our family we wait for each other to finish.”

Little brothers and sisters often copy without meaning any harm. The answer is the same, said more simply. A house rule helps everyone here: one person talks at a time and nobody gets talked over. It gives your child who stutters the time they need without singling them out.

What do I say when a relative tells my child to slow down?

Thank them, give the reason and tell them what to do instead. Grandparents, aunts and family friends say “slow down” because they care, and few know it can make a child more self-conscious. Away from your child, you could say:

“I know you want to help. Telling him to slow down or take a breath can make him more self-conscious, so we just wait and listen to what he is saying. He gets there.”

If it happens in front of your child, turn back to your child and say “keep going, I’m listening”. That shows the relative what to do and tells your child nothing is wrong.

What can I send to grandparents and carers?

A short written note saves you repeating the conversation with every person who looks after your child. Copy this one and change it to suit.

[Child’s name] sometimes gets stuck on words. This is stuttering. It is a physical speech condition, not nerves or a habit, and nothing the family did caused it.

When it happens, please:

  • wait and let [him or her] finish, without filling in the word
  • listen to what [he or she] is telling you and answer that
  • talk the way you usually do
  • leave out “slow down”, “take a breath” and “start again”
  • step in if another child copies or teases.

If [he or she] mentions getting stuck, you can say “that happens sometimes, I’m listening”. Thank you for helping.

The same note works for a babysitter, a sports coach or an early learning educator. School needs more than this, and the guide to stuttering at school has a separate note for the teacher.

Should I talk to my child about their stuttering?

Follow your child’s lead. The advice to parents is not to raise the stuttering yourself before a speech pathologist is involved, and to answer honestly and briefly when your child raises it. Stuttering is not a secret and it is not anyone’s fault, so there is no need to change the subject.

With an older child or a teenager, ask instead of guessing. How would they like you to respond when a word gets stuck? Who do they want told, and who not? The Australian Stuttering Research Centre gives teachers the same advice: ask the young person privately whether they want help and what kind.

Are home tips the same as stuttering treatment?

No. Everything in this guide makes talking more comfortable for a child who stutters. None of it treats stuttering.

Treatment for young children can look, from the outside, like something a parent could do alone. It is not. In the Lidcombe Program, the treatment with the strongest research evidence for children under 6, a speech pathologist leads the treatment: she measures the stuttering, decides what feedback suits the child, shows the parent a short daily practice at weekly visits and adjusts it for that child. The Northern Sydney Local Health District’s guide is direct about this: the Lidcombe Program should only be carried out by a speech pathologist, who individualises it for the child.

That is why this guide gives you nothing to practise and no praise for smooth talking to hand out. The guide to doing the Lidcombe Program at home describes the daily practice once a speech pathologist is leading it.

Timing matters too. The Australian Stuttering Research Centre reports that clinical trials show the best results from treatment before age 6, and it recommends therapy for every child who begins to stutter in the preschool years. If you are weighing up whether to wait, read when to worry about stuttering. For children aged 2 to 5, see stuttering in toddlers and preschoolers.

Did I cause my child’s stuttering?

No. The Australian Stuttering Research Centre states that stuttering is a physical condition and is not caused by nervousness, stress, parenting practices or the way parents communicate with their children. Stress and anxiety can make stuttering worse on a given day, but they are not where it comes from. The guide to what causes stuttering covers the research.

When should my child see a speech pathologist?

As soon as you are concerned. Healthdirect, the Australian Government’s health advice service, says to contact a speech pathologist as soon as possible when a child develops a stutter, and that you can usually do so without seeing a doctor first.

Stuttering Therapy is the practice of Dr Lauren Crumlish (PhD), a Certified Practising Speech Pathologist. Dr Lauren offers stuttering therapy for children and teenagers by video, Australia wide, and uses the Lidcombe Program. Dr Lauren works with a small number of families and has limited availability. A parent or guardian can apply to work with Dr Lauren.

Sources

Topics

  • Parents
  • At home
  • Siblings
  • Grandparents and carers

Fees

Sessions are $193. The first step is an initial assessment, from $590. Medicare rebates are available with a doctor's referral. The practice is not NDIS registered: self-managed and plan-managed participants are welcome; NDIA-managed funding cannot be used. See fees and Medicare

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  • Stuttering Therapy By Video
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  • The Lidcombe Program
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